“losing everything I have”

**inspired by An Honest Man by Fantastic Negrito**

he wakes to the shiver & wanting
the ache that kitchen can’t fix
he is searching
he is hunting
small packets of spare change
turned into white powder

forgot what God tastes like
so he starts with fire water
to calm the quakes & shatter
ends with puncture
to calm his pulsating vessels

“momma why did you leave me
alone here
I can’t remember the verses or the songs”

bodies turned into cadavers
flesh to experiments
this ends the same for all of them
he knows
but this body is isolation
the chemicals & adrenaline
replace the weeping
so he can make his pilgrimage
back to the vile violin stings
strung out
same clothes, more injection sites
nodding off closer to the death
he prayed for
when he prays
he doesn’t pray

God forbid…
that someone hears
the truth in his longing

easy, slowly, goodnight…