“November musing or Report Card Catalog entries”

I pray you a redemption song
to escort you into nirvana
promise you that all is forgiven
even the grace you can’t afford
there is no big boss in heaven
with a bullwhip to get you back to work
no cotton, no student loans, and any test not taken
before exiting this planet will go untaken

Your Money Can Not Save You
Death finds us all eventually

Pray you are in the process of forgiving everyone for everything
especially those demons that keep you up at night

I pray you sleep quiet & unencumbered by demons
it ought to be against the law
if it isn’t already against the law
there needs to be less laws and more forgiveness
but the blood, and prison light fixtures cost money

they will tell you about the crowns
even in a false monarchy
the Maybachs, cognac, and red bottoms
at the soul of their shoes
won’t fit in the caskets
even the richest kingdom comes to rot
eventually
they will speak your name
in eulogies everything you hold up as proof
of your worthiness will be passed around to strangers

you are a strange tribe of mortals
whore mongers, greedy, and vainglorious
taking but never giving
giving just to take more
pay closer attention
the funeral procession route will be cleared
by sirens
you should have a line of cars so long
they have to stop the Street Car from being on schedule
don’t be late even when God changes your schedule
and life makes a detour into oncoming traffic
you should traffic love thy neighbor
like wheat, whiskey, and Christmas wishes
there is no clemency in prison work songs
and less penance in the penitentiary choir recitals
the politicians want your votes to win elections
and the poets & preachers want your money

it’s enough to make you drink sometimes
you should drink sometimes
and talk reckless in the first draft
but more subdued at the inauguration
the commencement speeches will not
keep you from being swallowed by the darkness
the Boll weevil eat the crop without concern
of the fair market value
you should value your life’s work
like its your religion but know that God
won’t ask you for your resume
when its your turn to face the final curtain & goodnight.

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Anxious Love Songs

My peace of mind is trembling
the unfolding & recitation of scriptures
promising myself
not another
never again

be careful
loving can be frightening
like juggling chainsaws
she is sharp edges & brass knuckles
her eyes
make an accounting
of my surrender
she calls my name & I answer
first ring, last text message, DM/Inbox
anything she says gets repeated
and worn like sophisticated suit coats
her laughter tucked beneath my pocket square
I think she must know everything I am thinking
I am thinking she may be the answer
to questions that I have been waiting
too afraid to ask
her hair is royalty
her lips are pillow cases
her hips an introduction
her ass a feature presentation
I am front row, center stage,
waiting for show time

until I am reminded of how this all ends
how much blood I lost last time
pretending I didn’t care about
what was digging wholes into my bone marrow
not another
never again

be careful
but this feels like home
like the best Christmas
like another round of drinks
on the house the day before pay day
she suits me perfect
she fits me
she gets me
turning flips in my stomach muscles
the butterflies flutter
deep in the heart ache of me
I just want her to kiss me
close both eyes and kiss me
like she can save me
she can save me
if she would just kiss me
like she means it

I am sure she knows everything
my words
would put me in danger
I am afraid to tell her
what I am sure she knows
for fear the incantation
would break the spell and she might exit
I can’t lose this loving
not another
never again

be careful..

misdirected messages

Want to keep writing
till I don’t have to have to be
this heart broken to write
the willows aren’t the only thing weeping
the father son and holy spirit away on vacation
only thing to fill the holes inside me
are more loose women, fermented warm water,
and this damn Al Green record on repeat
pen me a sad song
a bib to hide the streaking tear stains
the explosion shook the cabin
sucked straight into the great beyond
The ribbon in the jet stream
Passed my rear view
As the high speed concrete draws closer

Always knew things would end this way
When I first saw her I was being reckless
Like seasoning a cinder block
before biting down on the inevitable
we weren’t meant for each other
this was just you talking to a stranger
on the way to your destination
Silly me
playing bus stop & kissing you with my eyes closed
you are not getting off with me just getting off
till you are turned off and I am offered my exit

I love you
probably always will love you
just wish you could see me in focus
or at least stop
repeating the same sentimental phrases
that have me believing
these filtered photograph memories
look anything like real life….

like Poet Tree used to say…

You no good raggedy simple minded motherfucker

Sometimes you have to call a spade a spade
Slit masters throat during the inauguration
in front of the news cameras
take your noose with a smile
We ain’t never been niggas
but you niggers
won’t listen to good sense
unless I tell you exactly how it is
No hyperbole
Write it down bloody & tattered at the edges
so when you taste the vinegar
your involuntary gag reflex warns
the pits of your stomach
Here comes the truth
No sugar
No warmth
just the unvarnished
Pummeling of broken bone fragments

Bitch you must be out your gotdamn mind

because sometimes these bitches talk
like they pussy made of sunshine
ain’t had a pap smear in 6 summers
but swear she know the combination
to the bank vault

He swore in plain language
You cowards too afraid of who might be offended
but if I said something that hurt your feelings
Good that is exactly what that shit was ment for

Cock sucking, ass biting, shit stain of a bastard child

You think this bullshit is reckless
Fooled yourself into thinking
because you can articulate your incivility
it makes your lack of principles less injurious

Well, fuck you and your momma for having you

You scared to say what you mean
when you mean what you say
change energies
for the Pastor or the Principal

All bowing and curtsy when it’s convenient
Knowing that your belly is bloated churning
Under “yes, sir & “no, Ma’am”
Fuck that
gonna say something
loud like Poet Tree used to
So you can hear him
from inside the back of the cruiser
you lying shape shifting sons of bitches
keep fucking playing with my emotions
and the bullshit stops
Right the fuck now…

**Nicca**

I know because
I been there
underneath the stop signs
talking crazy & over drunk
Fucked up,
slipped and lost years
to demons
You punk ass niggas
wouldn’t know
A fist fight from a alter call
Silly ass niggaz

You better listen while I tell you
I am trying to save you from the flames
Your tiny hands would just surrender
And ain’t no giving up or time outs
In these streets

**Nicca**

Poet Tree…

“A Poet Tree”

incandescent spiders
the fire flies taste like mint
caramel bark
masks the saltiness
the sap is tears & sorrow
the trunk bends to find the light
leaves breaking the canopy
just to wave at the moonlight
it is far too warm in direct sunlight

more whisky cries the roots
more water begs the earth around it
the swaying is not just the wind’s song
it is drifting over the property lines

handsome from a distance
the branches seem to wither
under closer inspection
but the thorns keep
away the squirrels
who want to parasite the seeds

so much manure at the base of the growing
the smell is often too much to bare
but aren’t the green leafs glowing
the dew of late nights forming
dripping sentences & metaphors
on the dung beneath it
but the crap creeps in if you aren’t careful

have to know where to plant
where to grow
and where is the best place to survive.

“I just thought of a funny joke”

You better laugh
get in all the giggles you can
there will be mourning
much mourning
and sadness

You should guffaw
as often as you can

If fat people falling makes you titter
then put Crisco on your sidewalk
and get out a lawn chair

crack jokes
when no one else is listening
double over laughing
at how clever you are

be entertained
be jovial
be loving & charitable & friendly
be forgiving & grateful
but whatever you do…do it with a smile.

The devil hates your smiling
evil intends you to be miserable
before dying
we are all dying
either now or later
we are leaving here
isn’t it hilarious how much time
we spend trying to pretend we aren’t…

Summer School

the biggest problem with youth
is that it is in the sole possession of the young
Old people who have squandered their allotment
always know exactly what the young
should do with theirs
A pompous decrepit ass
with a executioner’s list of accomplishment

survival
accepting their own cowardice
going along to get along
bending to the will of their betters

will stand gaped legged
chest protruding
eyes lowered
before crowds of potential
and call it naive

“I know” says the father
“but I will out live you”
says the son
locked into orbit around
the only thing that matters
that is important
that can’t be packaged for consumption
or traded for slips of paper

to wake up further away from death
and closer to birth

but be wary
be careful
youth is a volatile element
and is hunted, devoured, and used for war

they are coming for you
they hate your shining eyes
they promise civility
till you threaten their institutions
then out comes the militia, the dynamite, the fear
as they stave off your insurrection and steal
the one thing
they can never have…again

be young
be carefree
be ambitious
never the fool but always the dreamer
it will be hard to tell the difference
as it always should be
this life is always leaving
youth is flickering
a dying light to follow
cherish it
pray for its lasting
and love like tomorrow may never arrive…