Have you ever
in the school yard?
Have you ever
lost your house keys
at a gang fight?
Ever swallow a cigarette butt
in a warm beer can?
Ever fall asleep in church
and start snoring?
Have you ever put your face
up against a chain link fence
to watch the 4th & 5th graders
play dodge ball with mini basketballs?
Ever thrown rocks at passing cars
from the overpass?
Have you ever ran from the school security
into oncoming traffic
trying to skip out after lunch time?
Ever get caught sneaking back into school
to ride the bus home at the end of the day?
Ever lose your faith in magic?
Have you forgotten how high your aspirations are?
Does your situation ever keep you up at night drinking
arguing with God, and making promises you can’t keep?
Ever swear this all must be some cruel joke?
Been so sure that the devil was standing behind you
you could feel his breath tickle whispers down your spine
but been to scared to turn around and look.
the windows must be closed
or the chill gets into the room sometimes
like memories, and failure, and alcoholism, and fear
Love is far too jealous to spend time arguing with you
where you are going there is only one answer
the right thing is simple because it is the right thing
the future is not the past or we would call it the past
regardless of how you answer
the screaming inside you
eventually we all get to die…
At night she is loyal
dressed in light, a Goddess
we share my passions
she knows my secrets
hidden in a locket she wears
when the phases suit her
not her only suitor
but her jealous glances
keep me awake
staring into her eyes
At times her punctuality, ethic, and steely gaze
made lesser men call her masculine
told their children blatant lies
the cow barely made it over the farmer’s barn
the fork & spoon had a huge wedding
the little dog attended didn’t so much as giggle
She tells me I am beautiful
I am too scared to call her a liar
she warned my ancestors
when they would listen
I listen to the push and pull of her gravity
ask her question
only expecting answers
an ancient Witch dressed in only
a bright rainbow of luminescence
the liberty of a partner ship
separated by a thin skyline
yet sharing the firmaments canvas
should have seen them
holding each other
fireworks, a diamond ring among the clouds,
the cooler winds in darker spaces
where Mother Earth shivers
while the shoreline arrives to bare witness.
in a humble attempt
to convert no one
I wish to make a confession
to the God of no fair warnings
and preemptive first strikes
I gave up on avoiding disaster
love violence, loose women
and giving up
nothing makes me more happy
than dynamite & ending friendships
immature & petty
a badge of honor
“I wish a mother fucker would”
“who do you think you talking to”
and another thousand bullshit sayings
worn like crowns of kings & queens
without a kingdom and even more to lose
who think it is fashion to curse
what they ought forgive
and spit on graves
slap ice cream out of children’s hands
and act like Trump in their personal life
while condemning him
for being everything they are
loose batteries in pacemakers
waiting to die just the way they
came into this world
immature & crying about nothing.
Got contempt for the Devil
hope the house nigga choke & die on his good living
Our ancestors paid for this screaming & hung at the neck
you ought swim home
back to the shores you were stole from
Ought toil under the sky weary unable to rest
you ought run for your life & freedom
face the gun butt & bull whip
The trees & sky remember
Won’t let you forget
Who do you serve slave?
Make a man out of spit and so much sand
put him in the field
take his children from him
give him your God but take his soul
how easily you forget
A snake is a snake
is the rattle & fangs
he will bite you at the neck & kill you
all the talking in the world won’t change that
Better to keep your distance
Yahweh forgive you
for the camphor and nitrocellulose minstrel show
the photo shop will report on you long after
Your trembling back has stopped crying mercy…
if good pussy were good penmanship
i’d pray over the mailbox
that inside would be a handwritten post card from you
if neck kisses were breakfast pancakes and syrup
you would have to get a gym membership
to keep from getting obese & reduce the risk of diabetes
if love is truly the answer
we should go on Jeopardy
get filthy rich and move away together.
because I love you
like fat asses love couches
we belong together
like Spongebob and Patrick
like hot sauce and fried chicken
like Trump supporters and swastikas
you are everything to me
trembling fingers and pulsating
Netflix and chill spaces
you make it hard
to say what I mean when I mean what I say
because sometimes I say things that I don’t mean
but I mean to tell you everything
take it easy or get it rough
bent and hair pulling
whichever you prefer
whenever you need it
I need you like
octagons need acute angles
you look cute in that dress
with no make up
we should make love
to slow jams between bed sheets
like sheet music you set my key
unlock the door to your heart strings
and I will play with your g chord
make you music
to dance to then lay there beside you
till we both fall asleep…
the guns run the streets now
like they always did
the devil wears True Religion
the exits smell like preconceived notions
He said, “Fuck voting, they don’t count us”
though I tried to convince him differently
he sees through my uncertainty.
Hopes for Change are illusions
to keep the martinets dancing
want to cut my strings
run for the horizon
but they have church on Wednesday
trying to find a heaven I can’t see
while suffering the burns,
cuffs, and shame of delusions
if you catch me crying
at the polling place
ignore my emotions
wait your turn and cast your ballot
we will worry about the math
after the dance
but if you aren’t in the building
during the raffle you can’t get the prize.
a nebula of star dust.
the glitter of broken glass & cigarette butts
she is a swaying pendulum
each oscillation a genuflect
to a white horse drawing a train wreck closer.
back and forth
from car windows to inconspicuous gangways
the needle leaves a scar
a port-a-pottie confessional
a intersession prayer to St. Jude
the shit and blood pisses off the angels.
the pricks and plunger
shards of Challenger windshield glass
she exposes her circulatory system to disaster
wreaks of victim and crime scene.
the steps leading to the side bar
her dingy brunette locs
open purse & vulgar pursuits.
at the gates of hell fire
she is an exorcism waiting to happen
either by casket or behavior modification.
her story full of endings
at the beginning of life
chasing the dragon & hunting for more sky
you can’t climb higher
only closer to your catastrophe
simpleton, runaway, fool.
you can’t hide inside yourself
everywhere you look
you are already there.
this close to the concrete forest
the sharks smell blood
before it dries on the needle tip
are waiting for skyward eyes
for they never see the weapon
till the wound is wide open,
honor is obliterated,
and the last few singles
have been excavated from the remains.