“I like you, liking me like you”

if good pussy were good penmanship
i’d pray over the mailbox
that inside would be a handwritten post card from you
if neck kisses were breakfast pancakes and syrup
you would have to get a gym membership
to keep from getting obese & reduce the risk of diabetes
if love is truly the answer
we should go on Jeopardy
get filthy rich and move away together.
because I love you
like fat asses love couches
we belong together
like Spongebob and Patrick
like hot sauce and fried chicken
like Trump supporters and swastikas
you are everything to me
trembling fingers and pulsating
wide open
Netflix and chill spaces
you make it hard
to say what I mean when I mean what I say
because sometimes I say things that I don’t mean
but I mean to tell you everything
take it easy or get it rough
bent and hair pulling
whichever you prefer
whenever you need it
I need you like
octagons need acute angles
you look cute in that dress
with no make up
we should make love
to slow jams between bed sheets
like sheet music you set my key
unlock the door to your heart strings
and I will play with your g chord
make you music
to dance to then lay there beside you
till we both fall asleep…

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to the girl “nodding out” in front of Poets Monday

a nebula of star dust.
the glitter of broken glass & cigarette butts
she is a swaying pendulum
each oscillation a genuflect
to a white horse drawing a train wreck closer.
back and forth
from car windows to inconspicuous gangways
the needle leaves a scar
a port-a-pottie confessional
a intersession prayer to St. Jude
the shit and blood pisses off the angels.
the pricks and plunger
shards of Challenger windshield glass
she exposes her circulatory system to disaster
wreaks of victim and crime scene.

the steps leading to the side bar
her dingy brunette locs
open purse & vulgar pursuits.

at the gates of hell fire
she is an exorcism waiting to happen
either by casket or behavior modification.
her story full of endings
at the beginning of life
chasing the dragon & hunting for more sky
you can’t climb higher
only closer to your catastrophe
simpleton, runaway, fool.
you can’t hide inside yourself
everywhere you look
you are already there.

be cautious
this close to the concrete forest
the sharks smell blood
before it dries on the needle tip
are waiting for skyward eyes
for they never see the weapon
till the wound is wide open,
honor is obliterated,
and the last few singles
have been excavated from the remains.

postmortem dismissal

the instructor rose
greeted the lecture hall
as he ascended the podium
he began to speak:

We will remember these things differently
you won’t remember the exact day
I won’t remember

Love has a funny way of costing us
today’s lesson is faded Polaroid photographs,
eulogies, and the inevitable surrender of parkour romances.
Let me tell you something

he says
slamming his fists on the lectern

Love is a calculated insanity
demons hiding under tussled bed liens
testifying against our fornicated vanity

I am just a man
alone here for far too many semesters
seen graduations, passed & failed dreams
I lied in the syllabus
you don’t start with a passing grade
we all knew this would be
far more difficult than that

When the reporters ask
of my demeanor tell them he was confident
in the coffee stain on his lesson plans
but love won’t answer ransom notes

he pauses
returns to his desk

revolver

then returns to the podium
fearful of Columbine/Sandy Hook memorials
the room holds its collective breath

YOU NEED THIS LESSON
today you will learn
what giving up looks like
what bad habits & unnatural disasters smell like
& how long it takes for disloyalty to devour
your will to everything
I BEGGED FOR HER FORGIVENESS
he says
shouting the next few sentences
he swallows…

zdrowkcab

there are days I write
her name backwards
trying to get out of it
get away from her
the obsession of chasing
wanting like lacerations
lost blood
fired starting pistols

she runs from me

told me that this would not work
that I should move on
assertions like an abscess
in my wisdom teeth
quickening my heart
but maybe she is right

or maybe she is the right one
or maybe I should get ahold of myself
not sure which or when and even when I am confident
it isn’t for very long

long for the days before I could
spell her name backwards
from memory trying to reverse the spell
she put on me
just really not sure how…

Should we stay together?

between heaven and hell there is a dividing line
a river runs slow between them
the demons and angels
look almost identical in the dark

My church clothes are filthyBlood lust poem
my heart is a dingy bar rag
if you would look close enough
you would notice
I am a zombie
a dead man walking
looking for something to devour
to fill this hunger inside me
my up is down
my right has left me
driving myself crazy
searching for the write words to write
to draw you close enough
to put my teeth into the soft flesh
of your cracked skull

You should RUN for help

this LOVE we share is dangerous
it may be salvation or damnation
I am just not sure which…

 

“over broken”

a failure of emotions
suffer me the aggravation
of the fight, slaughter, kill in my reflex
Learning & Growing
feeling remedial
after all these sunrises
but some lessons never get
“learned right”

pliers and snatched out teeth
split open forearm muscles
pouring salt into the gash
a white hot screwdriver
jammed into my stare
all these things
our love is…sometimes

the undignified suffering
of kinship
family
this shared blood agony

Why?

must I punish myself
internalizing your thoughtless vulgarity
your adept abuse
the pummeling
that would make the stoutest boxer punch drunk
I give up…count me out, already…I quit

What do I gain?

Love in short bursts
after miles of torture
you are a mistress of malcontent
a lover of self and the false pride of control
foolish heart
chasing you into locked doors
looking for answers
but I already know the solution
you
are
“Over Broken”
short of miracle
you will remain crippled
looking for others to dismember
just to tired to fight anymore
we lose
I lose my pride
you lose what you never had to begin with
and wonder why you are alone
ask me…I know.

“Our Love Cosmic”

(inspired by “Cosmic Love” by Luvleeh Poetiklocks of 2 Team ; Charlotte)

Fixed in the sky
our Sun
fire, power, and ionized gases
burning
our orbit a desires
drawing us inside
its magnetism irresistible
undeniable
illuminating the blackness
surrounding it

Your love is my Sun
my heart the Earth
tumbling
spinning
at the Sun’s beckoning

93 million miles away
from me most nights

??????????a safe distance
yet keeping me warm enough
to survive

The Sun emerged
from an immense cloud
of gas and space dust
that gave rise to thousands of stars

Scientists
like wounded lovers
have been searching the sky
for stars
with the same aspect

“HD 162826”

has all the properties of the Sun
yet no planets
to acolyte its power
the Sun should be careful
how it treats the gravity of devotion
of the objects locked in its orbit

“HD 162826” is lonely
all is fair in this milky way & love
though Jupiter may be larger
with more satellites
no planet absorbs the Sun’s radiation
like Earth
No planet trusts the Sun
will be exactly
where it ought be
with it’s life sustaining sunrise

“HD 162826”
is only 110 light years away
and by standards universal & those of traumatized hearts
that is not far to find a star
that would appreciate
the adoration of it’s orbits.