I don’t like her, anymore…

there are far too many freckles
on her back for me to love her
when she sits in front of me in class
her hair always smells far too sweet

she doesn’t know my name
but her chin is too long so it doesn’t matter
and her butts too big,
her lips too succulent,
and she is far too hilariously funny

dudes don’t want funny chicks
boys egos can’t stand the competition

she thinks she is better than me
I think she is better at math than me
and I don’t like it

I dont like her.
I keep writing her name
on the inside of my Trapper Keeper
out of habit
did more push ups
then Chris at the bus stop
she pretended not to care
but good
I don’t like her anyway
sometimes I pray
just once
she would notice
how much I don’t like her.

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Broken Elevators

the confectionary syrup of a snake’s tongue
makes the swallowing of fables easier
told the fold in her stockings
the candles were burning to hide the scents
tricked my common sense
and out came the pallbearers & eulogies
when gentle love dresses in malnutrition
starving beyond hope for reprisal
the horns of devil’s advocate scream for your attention

Maybe she doesn’t love me
what if it was all a lie

the romance of inventing suitors
she turns from Madonna to Backpages
in a flash light
searching for reason
hoping for vengeance over heartbreak
letting go seems civilized
but the fidgeting and second guessing is normal

You will know it is LOVE
if when you let it go
it returns to you
just be sure it is what you actually wanted
not just familiar falsehoods
eaiser to swallow because the bitter pills
of anguish never could be so sweet.

A girl named Sinnamon

the clacking of her beaded braids
mimicking mothers every utterance
the false starts & stops of her lip liner
she can’t remember
her chastity
a baby or fools protection
she is known for her spin cycle
the election of men to her delicate dignity
the alter of her hips has followers
grams of white lines
she is burning wicks at both ends
losing her urgency and ambition
in tumblers of casked casket water
sweet brown liquor stains
her smile
or what is left of her inherited beauty
they court her with paper
she accepts their advances
convinced it will enhance her chances
of escaping her situation

till the devil invaded her personal hell
stab marks, clear heels, and a letter
was found with in and around her cadaver
her last words
“Kenny”
never knew she had kept watch
was doing this to send him something
she was always giving till she gave away everything…

Under Asked Questions?

Have you ever
shot dice
in the school yard?
Have you ever
lost your house keys
at a gang fight?

Ever swallow a cigarette butt
in a warm beer can?
Ever fall asleep in church
and start snoring?

Have you ever put your face
up against a chain link fence
to watch the 4th & 5th graders
play dodge ball with mini basketballs?
Ever thrown rocks at passing cars
from the overpass?
Have you ever ran from the school security
into oncoming traffic
trying to skip out after lunch time?

Ever get caught sneaking back into school
to ride the bus home at the end of the day?
Ever lose your faith in magic?
Have you forgotten how high your aspirations are?

Does your situation ever keep you up at night drinking
arguing with God, and making promises you can’t keep?

Ever swear this all must be some cruel joke?
Been so sure that the devil was standing behind you
you could feel his breath tickle whispers down your spine
but been to scared to turn around and look.

the windows must be closed
or the chill gets into the room sometimes
like memories, and failure, and alcoholism, and fear
Love is far too jealous to spend time arguing with you

where you are going there is only one answer
the right thing is simple because it is the right thing
the future is not the past or we would call it the past

trust me

regardless of how you answer
the screaming inside you
eventually we all get to die…

1:31am

“if I promised you there would be no tragedy, I lied”
said the moon to the sea shells
drifting past the light house
at sunrise during the hurricane

the universe started with an explosion
you started with an eruption or an erection
or a shot of whiskey and a dance
your mother would never tell you the truth about

everything that happens makes a sound
if you are quiet enough to listen
sometimes that sound is breaking glass,
fire alarms,
and the sound of blood filling your lungs

you are going to weep sometimes

that is just how this thing works
the inevitable is also the eventual
but you don’t have to make a production out of it
if you relax your arms and unknot your fist sometimes
the falling into the arms of God doesn’t hurt so much
wish she could take me to the Museum again, sometimes
wish she could tell me stories about her girlhood

this is impossible
not how any of this work

the sunset won’t slow down for you to admire it
trust me I have asked
take it slow, breath every breath, and curse
tell them exactly how you feel about things
mean every word you say
and love like every cell of your body fed on it.

I am not perfect, we can never be perfect
anyone who tells you different is lying
and should be feared like lions with two sets of teeth

remember the good parts of me
the laughs we shared
the way I smiled the night we drank so much
I fell down the stairs to the basement
be careful
the tragedies will seem like mountains
and they are mountains
but what are mountains to giants
what are tears to rivers

weep
you are supposed to

but let me hug you when it is over
and love you back to life…

#ForSomePussyChallenge

Nigga will cheat
for the pussy
Get his ass beat
for the pussy
Work under the table 
for the pussy
act unstable
for the pussy
bootleg cable
for the pussy

spend all his stamps
for the pussy
snitch on the camp
for the pussy
turn over a new leaf
for the pussy
change his belief
for the pussy

ride the town in a stolie
for the pussy
be a parolee
for the pussy

Get goals, borrow clothes, Amber Rose
for some pussy
won’t keep his mouth closed
for the pussy

cry, lie and die
for the pussy
go to prison she give some other guy
all the pussy

better want more
then you some pussy
learn to love someone for you fall
in some pussy
can’t get out, child support
now who’s the pussy
you can eat but can’t wear
you some pussy
better take care
or the pussy
will have you looking bad
for some pussy

surrendering shadows

At night she is loyal
arrives
dressed in light, a Goddess

My mistress
we share my passions
she knows my secrets
keeps them
hidden in a locket she wears
when the phases suit her

not her only suitor
but her jealous glances
keep me awake
staring into her eyes
At times her punctuality, ethic, and steely gaze
made lesser men call her masculine
told their children blatant lies
the cow barely made it over the farmer’s barn
the fork & spoon had a huge wedding
the little dog attended didn’t so much as giggle

She tells me I am beautiful
I am too scared to call her a liar
she warned my ancestors
when they would listen
I listen to the push and pull of her gravity
ask her question
only expecting answers

an ancient Witch dressed in only
a bright rainbow of luminescence
makes advances
the liberty of a partner ship
separated by a thin skyline
yet sharing the firmaments canvas
should have seen them
holding each other
fireworks, a diamond ring among the clouds,
the cooler winds in darker spaces
where Mother Earth shivers
while the shoreline arrives to bare witness.