postmortem dismissal

the instructor rose
greeted the lecture hall
as he ascended the podium
he began to speak:

We will remember these things differently
you won’t remember the exact day
I won’t remember

Love has a funny way of costing us
today’s lesson is faded Polaroid photographs,
eulogies, and the inevitable surrender of parkour romances.
Let me tell you something

he says
slamming his fists on the lectern

Love is a calculated insanity
demons hiding under tussled bed liens
testifying against our fornicated vanity

I am just a man
alone here for far too many semesters
seen graduations, passed & failed dreams
I lied in the syllabus
you don’t start with a passing grade
we all knew this would be
far more difficult than that

When the reporters ask
of my demeanor tell them he was confident
in the coffee stain on his lesson plans
but love won’t answer ransom notes

he pauses
returns to his desk


then returns to the podium
fearful of Columbine/Sandy Hook memorials
the room holds its collective breath

today you will learn
what giving up looks like
what bad habits & unnatural disasters smell like
& how long it takes for disloyalty to devour
your will to everything
he says
shouting the next few sentences
he swallows…


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