there are days I write
her name backwards
trying to get out of it
get away from her
the obsession of chasing
wanting like lacerations
lost blood
fired starting pistols

she runs from me

told me that this would not work
that I should move on
assertions like an abscess
in my wisdom teeth
quickening my heart
but maybe she is right

or maybe she is the right one
or maybe I should get ahold of myself
not sure which or when and even when I am confident
it isn’t for very long

long for the days before I could
spell her name backwards
from memory trying to reverse the spell
she put on me
just really not sure how…


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