“and it won’t mean a thing in a hundred years”

the gun fired,
faster than sound
death
forced its way between breaths.

everything stops.

do you say goodbyes
pray to god
or accept that this is over

have heard
your life flashes before your eyes
have heard enough religious promises
to fill a church
before the suicide bomber
blows a whole in the congregation

Having lost enough friends
to guns
to wrong place,
to“them fools”,
her baby daddy
to the trigger pulled exit wound of muzzle flashes
weary the cigar ash I have left to smoke
in this carnival of misfortunes and broken promises
that is my life

maybe it is better that death come swift
unexpected
maybe laying here doing nothing
and waiting to die
staying “here” too long
is worse
children not visiting
CNA’s gum popping
and talking like you can’t hear
the torrid debauchery
in their squandered youth
being over drugged and bed sore ridden
a better escape

I hear at the corner there is a man
selling you “eternal life”
for 10% of your income
I haven’t been

All I am sure of
these days
is today
this breath,
in my lungs
while I write this, is a thing
and the hope to share the next with you.

I have seen death, tasted betrayal,
walked the tightrope over the lava pit
in ballerina shoes
carrying everything I owned in my pockets
I know when “everything goes wrong”
could draw you a road map to
“how not to do it right”

foolish mortals
with our tricks and trade in affections
or fickle hearts always searching
for a feeling
that ought be inside you anyway

suffice to say
my confidence dwindles
I am left with the conclusion
that none of it makes sense
and trying to figure it out
gives me nightmares

Oh! the innocence of a child

that wonder and magic
before I knew that Lee Majors was the Fall Guy
when I believed
Hulk Hogan
was the strongest man on earth
and that my father would get off drugs
and everything would be alright…

black roses and muddy water
torn Prom dresses and spilled beer
too much whiskey
lies
land “minds” everywhere

I wish I had the answers
or
this damn dog would quit barking
so I can get some sleep…

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