“they all love me”

the pretentiousness of her words
stood manifest
she is everything wrong with me
the vibration of her bird song
cracks the sky
angels cry at her beckoning
she is flawed in all the right places
I bleed for the Timex countdown
below her breast bone
and her breast send me
traveling into a wanderlust

I am less man around her
less poetic enterprise
more 8th grade note passer
a small boy just hoping she would
pause
long enough to see me in the hurried hallway
remember my name and say it

“you aren’t the first one to want this”

she tells me
I am underneath her now
cowering in my own simple
the unworthiness she paints me
is not a common color I show people
but I know I am not everything
to her
just another
in a list of love notes
she only sings when the hour suits her fancy
she is far too fancy
for my fancy

but I can not help but admire the sun
can not help but dream about moonbeams
she is everything I should run from
my penmanship trembles out my mouth
I know I should defend myself
her dismissal seems like an attack

don’t you see me

standing here a man
with all of my believing and knowing
and waiting for god
around me
don’t you know how much a drop of my adoration
could fix all the crumbled bible pages of your
misaligned front wheel drive shaft

she sees what she wants to
I am a fool for chasing this dragon
into its mouth looking for gold
others have died here
I can see their charred bones in her eyes
the discarded notes litter the measures
of her heart song
she is beautiful they all love her
I think but

“has she ever learned to love herself”

I grab my coat and prepare myself for leaving
the naked shame of admitting
anything to her
self absorbed insensitivity
you are right, queen, they all love you
but why then are you here alone…

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2 responses to ““they all love me”

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